Healthy-Choices High

Have you ever noticed how uplifting it can be to reject nasty junk foods for healthier options? I'm not talking legitimate cravings - those are always meant to be fulfilled. I'm talking about those times when all you want to do is stuff your face until you feel like the Goodyear blimp and then some.

Today I found myself in the Trader Joe's sugar aisle looking for something sweet to devour. I didn't know what I wanted, all I knew is that I wanted something (hint #1 that this is not a legit craving). Here are some of the babies that caught my eye: (WARNING: Food Porn ahead!)

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I literally walked up and down that aisle at least 5 times, taking me at least 10 minutes. I went down the produce aisle once, and this is what I ended up leaving with:

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Healthy eating for the win!

Unlike the other chocolate-covered options above, I could eat as many of these as I wanted without an upset stomach, food hangover, or guilty conscience. The high that I've gotten from my inflated health-conscious ego is so much better than any sugar high ever could have been. Take that, refined sugars!

Questions:

What is a healthy eating option that always puts you over the moon? Or is it just me?

What did you do this weekend? Tell me all about it!

Random Fact #21: Other than a few highlights, I have never died my hair. I think I just have a fear of 1) it turning an unnatural shade or 2) horrendous roots showing in like 3 days.

Angry Man Songs

When I'm feeling a little girl power-y (spice up your life), I like to listen to what I refer to as Angry Man Songs aka AMS (bears no relation to PMS). What's an AMS, you ask? It's an auditory ass-kicking by strong, badass women to the scumbags that have done them wrong.

Here are my Top 10 Angry Man Songs and the HOT ladies (and gentleman) that sing them (in no particular order):

1. Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts
   
   
   
   
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2. Aly and AJ - Division (and pretty much anything on their album Insomniatic)
   
   
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3. Destiny's Child - Survivor (duh)
   
   
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4. Rihanna - Breakin' Dishes


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5. Reba McEntire - Turn On the Radio
   
   
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6. Blu Cantrell - Hit 'Em Upstyle (6th grade, anyone?)
   
   
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7. Cee Lo Green - Fuck You (Woman or man, you just gotta dig this song. Oh, and click on the link, you'll love it!)
   
   
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8. Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know
   
   
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9. Christina Aguilera - Fighter
   
   
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10. Lily Allen - Smile (PRICELESS music video)

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Questions:

What are your Angry Man Songs? I want links, people!

How's your weekend goin'?

Getting Out of a Funk

My friend Sarah is like my little pocket-sized Buddha. She helped me through a really tough breakup and is always there for me when I am an obnoxious emotional wreck.

True love.

A few days ago, I was feeling a little down in the dumps about some extra pounds I've tacked on recently. I tend to gain weight when I'm feeling isolated or lonely, so whenever this happens I know that something bigger is goin' on.

Even bigger than this lil' fella.

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When I mentioned this to my mini Buddha, she was able to give me some fabby-fab advice that I am now going to share with all of you.

Instead of wasting your time with activities that make you feel worse, fill it with activities that make you feel better.

So simple but so effing genius! For me, this means that I need to stop shoveling food into my mouth while watching mind-numbing HGTV and start actually taking care of myself. The more I eat and the more I sit, the worse about myself I feel and the more weight I gain.

So what's a girl to do when she wants to spoil herself but has nooo money to speak of? Get creative!

Lies! If you were broke, how would you afford such stupid hats?

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1. Give yourself a mani/pedi. I did this last night before a date with the boyf and it made me feel 1000 times more put together. It may look like a 3 year old painted my nails with his non-dominant hand, but I figure that nobody can tell as long as they are at least 10 feet away from me.
   
   
2. Go consignment shopping. I LOVE consignment stores more than most department stores. The more old-ladyish, the better. Why? Because most older women don't give a rats patootie about brands. Thus, the good stuff is super cheap, super cute, and always available. I picked up BCBG and Michael Kors stuff for next to nothing on a regular basis.
   
   
   BCBG shirt: $2. Personalized chair not included.
   
   
3. Shave your legs. If you're not a slob and do this on a regular basis, good for you. In my book, shaving my legs is just a pain in the ass. There are so many steps involved and I always find a way to logic my way out of it for at least a good week and a half ("Nobody will see them anyways..."). I've noticed, however, that whenever I do shave my legs 1) my wardrobe options double and 2) I feel just slightly less manly, which is always a good thing.
   
   




4. Work out like a BOSS. Wear a work out-fit that screams "I'm a serious athlete" (No Pitts Family Reunion 1998 T-shirts today!) Sweat up a storm to the point that people avoid the cardio machines on either side of you. Look up a new strength routine online and pretend like you totally made it up yourself. If you want to feel really special, maybe even walk with your arms away from your sides (Y'know, since your biceps are SO big they can't even fit next to your body).
   
   
They don't call me Bear Cub for nothin'

Questions!

What do you do when you're feeling down on yourself?? What picks you up like nobody's business?

Did you have any nicknames when you were a kid?

Nobody ever called me Bear Cub. I have no idea how it ended up on the shirt. My fam did call me "Missy Miss" for a while but I really can't tell ya where that came from.

Random Fact #20/Frat House Tip: Whenever there are no paper towels left, I just wipe my hands on the bottom of my jeans. The idea behind this is that nobody checks out your ankles (but everybodyyy checks out your bootaytay, right ladies??)

Prepare To Be Overwhelmed

I just found this little buddy that outlines when and what to eat before and after a workout. Does anybody out there follow a regimen like this? It sounds like wayyy too much work to me...

More Health and Fitness News & Tips at Greatist.

Wee-Hour Workout

I'm a recent convert to Team AM - those of us that wake up at ungodly hours to get our sweat on.

I assure you it hasn't always been this way. If you asked me 2 years ago if I wanted to go to a spin class at 5:45 AM I would have laughed in your face and/or struggled to stifle my vomit. Today, I roll myself out of bed at 5 AM to be out the door and on the road by 5:20. So what gives?

Oh Sleep, how I love thee.

Honestly, the only reason I wake up so goddamn early to get to the gym is because the pros so far outweigh the cons. I am not any more of a morning person now than I was 2 years ago, I just have a new found appreciation for getting my workouts done as early as possible.

So what's so great about working out in the AM? I am SO glad you asked!

1. The gym commute at 5:30 PM: 20 minutes.
   The gym commute at 5:30 AM: 4 minutes.
   There's nothin' sweeter than flying down a street that's usually bumper-to-bumper with tourist traffic during the summer. Oh, and did I mention that every stoplight is green? Yeahhh baby.
   
   
2. The radio is SO much better when it's still dark outside. I don't know about you, but I hate morning shows with a fiery burning passion. I feel like I'm listening to my (imaginary) little brother laughing with his idiot friends about things that aren't funny to anybody but themselves. Plus, I have yet to run into a radio commercial when driving to the gym in the AM.
   
   
3. I am still half asleep until 6:45 or so. This means that I don't feel the full torture of my workout until it's pretty much already over. By the time I come-to, I'm pretty much finished and ready to stretch and hit the showers.
   
   
The gym aka Ladies Cigar Club of Monterey
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4. The locker-room gossip is AMAZING. The most popular water aerobics classes start from 7-8 AM, right around the time that I'm prepping for the day. And let me tell you, these ladies are like their own little senior citizen social club. From Roberta's cruise to the Bahamas to Michelle's son's recent burglary arrest, there is never a dull moment.
   
   
5. No kids in sight. Need I say more?
   
   
6. My day isn't consumed entirely by working and exercising from 8 AM to 8 PM. During a time that I would usually be sleeping, I'm already entirely finished with my workout for the day. That leaves 5 PM to 10 PM to do what I please without feeling guilty for skipping a workout.
   
   
7. I look like a real person for the entire day. If I don't go to the gym in the morning, I snooze my alarm until the last possible moment. When I finally spring out of bed, often yelling profanities, I only have time to throw on some ugly business casual attire and run out the door. Needless to say, I tend to resemble some sort of swamp monster on these days.

Questions:

Are you on Team AM or Team PM? Why?

How was your weekend?? Anything as exciting as mine?

I had to work on a Saturday. Cue the "wah-wahhhhh"

Random Fact #19: I actually liked The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I pretend it's because I like to stare at James Franco (that too), but it was actually a pretty touching story. Monkeys just hit a soft spot, I guess.

Hi, you're pretty. Call me?

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YogAHA!: Chick Envy

Sometimes during yoga I metamorphize into a little Buddha and have some genius epiphanies (ok, well they're genius to me). Here are some of my thoughts, in word-vomit form, for your reading pleasure.

I'm about to say something really disgusting, so bear with me.

A lot of times when I go to yoga, I spent a good chunk of the time staring at other people. Not in a creepy, demeaning way (well, maybe it's kinda creepy), but more in an envious way. It's hard not to stare when you're in a room full of strong, flexible people and way too many mirrors.

Sometimes I let this envy get the best of me, and I start to get down on myself. I get insecure, staring at myself in the mirror in front of me and losing the focus that yoga really is all about. More often than not, I spend the entire time criticizing my body in every pose from the way my stomach looks in a forward fold to my inability to do a forearm stand.

Bitch.

What I realized last night, however is that I rarely envy everything about one person. Instead, I pick and choose features that I wish I had: her skinny arms, his strength, her natural tan. It's like I'm playing Ms. Potato Head with other people's features, building a new me until I'm finally satisfied.

I will never actually envy somebody else's entire situation because there are things in my life that are just too precious to give up.

Like these two, for example :-)

The most significant part of this whole epiphany, however, was one simple thought that had never even crossed my mind up until this point.

I have been the target of somebody's envy. I have great qualities that I don't even realize because I take them for granted day after day. And so does everybody else.

So the next time you're feeling down on yourself or envying that skinny b*tch next to you on the subway...

STOP! Because she may be envying you for something that you don't even see. You're bangin' and everybody else knows it, so effing appreciate it, gosh darnit!

Question:

Do you have yoga/spin/life envy? How do you keep it in check?

Rockin Recipes: Hazuki Noodles

In the past, my mom has hosted Japanese exchange students for a month or two during the summers. The most recent student, Hazuki, introduced us to the glory of what are now called "Hazuki Noodles."

To us, this is an exotic, scrumptious treat that we like to slurp down when it gets a little on the cold side (which actually happens here during the summer, sorry to those heatwave warriors out there). To her, it's probably the most basic thing in the world and almost laughable that we obsess over it so much.

Without further adieu, I give you HAZUKI NOODLES! (^_^)

The Ingredients:

• Kikkoman "Soup Base for Noodles" - all I know is that theres all this crazy Japanese writing on it and you can find it at an Asian market.
• Soba Noodles - again, I'm not exactly sure how you can identify it other than it's in your Asian supermarket and looks like it should be.
• Water
• Whatever chopped veggies and other (edible) objects you want. For this one I used broccoli and spinach, but I've also tried it with tofu and mushrooms and that's equally as delicious.

The amounts that you use depend on how much soup you want. These noodles come in these cute little bundles with black ribbon around them, so we just pop open 2 of those babies for the 2 of us.

Make sure you unwrap these away from the stove. I may or may not have started a mini fire and made my house smell like burnt noodles from opening them over the stove.

You will want to cook the noodles and the broth/vegetables mixture separately. While you're boiling the water for the noodles, add 1 part "Soup base for noodles" to 3 parts water. Usually I just eyeball this part - I'm a big broth fan so I tend to go heavy on the liquids.

Once you heat up the broth mixture, put your long-cooking vegetables in there. This would include broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, etc.

She's so health conscious.

Once you've popped your noodles into the boiling water in the other pot, set the timer for 3 minutes. (I know! They cook really fast!)

After you set the timer, put your quick-cooking vegetables in the broth pot. For mine, this would be the spinach. I put tons of spinach in there since it reduces a lot after boiling and I want to have Popeye muscles. Don't you dare tell me that's a myth.

Before.

After. It's magic!

Once the noodles are fully cooked, strain them and put them into a giant bowl with a lil' broth and you're good to go!

Obviously my bowl was a little larger with a lottt more broth.

Mom's STOKED that I finally cooked dinner for once.

The REAL Hazuki herself. Please ignore the shrine-esque charcoal image of my sister and me on the wall and Izzy's exposed lady-parts.

Note: If you are vegetarian or vegan the above recipe is not for you, as the "Base for noodles" is made with fish...stuff? I don't really know what part of the fish can make a soup base but regardless it is mighty tasty.

Question:

Have you ever hosted or been a foreign exchange student before?

I lived in Sevilla, Spain for a month in a homestay-esque situation - it was amazing!

R.I.P. iPod and a Quick Weekend Update

OBITUARIES

Pink Nano, manager of All My Workouts, dies

MONTEREY - Pink iPod Nano, who helped many through very strenuous workouts, has died at the age of 10 months.

She died Monday at the local gym from drowning in disgusting man sweat, her owner Julia Ingle said.

"We are very saddened by this loss and equally as pissed with Apple for not building a sweat-proof MP3 player. Like seriously, what do you think I'm going to do with a clip-on iPod the size of a postage stamp? Sit on the couch and listen to books on tape?"

Julia attempted to revive Ms. Nano by sticking her in a bag of rice for 32 hours, but that only made her smell like a Japanese restaurant and no longer have a functioning screen.

A valiant rescue attempt.

Her death comes just 2 days after the passing of her spouse, Expensive Running Headphones, and just 2 months before the expiration of Apple's 1 year warranty. She should be replaced (but not forgotten) shortly, as long as the people at Apple don't decide to be jerks.

My Weekend in Pictures

One fabby-fab weekend :-)

Questions:

Have you ever had an electronic device break on you way before it's time? What did you do?

How was yourrrr weekend? Any Bloody Mary's involved?

Bloody Mary's are my new favorite!!

Random Fact #19: To me, doing laundry is equally as painful as getting a root canal. Hence, I put it off as long as possible - usually until I run entirely out of my extensive undie collection.